Villanelle

~{}~

 

(a villanelle)

 

 

Now you are in eternal sleep

My hand no longer rests in yours

The silence in the room is deep

Somehow it is not time to weep

Absent the feeling of remorse

Now you are in eternal sleep

And only memories to keep

As I will think of you of course

The silence in the room is deep

Why did your faith decide to leap

and take your soul to the eternal source?

Now you are in eternal sleep

a clock is ticking time to keep

as you were taken by cruel force

The silence in the room is deep

just memories for me to keep

My hand is useless to endorse

Now you are in eternal sleep

The silence in the room is deep

 

~{}~

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Comments on: "Villanelle" (11)

  1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle

    This form of poetry is new to me, but I wanted to give it a try.
    I learned about it from a very good writer (and I hope I can call him a friend šŸ™‚ ) David Agnew. His blog:
    http://belfastdavid.wordpress.com

  2. belfastdavid said:

    I love the form of villanelle.

    Yet it is very difficult to master – I have had a number of attempts and never been completely satisfied.
    .
    You have done a terrific job with this – I am really impressed.

    And you can certainly call me a friend šŸ™‚

    David

  3. I love this. The villanelle is a wonderful form, but SO hard to do – and even harder to do well. This is super.

  4. I agree with David and Nick. The villanelle is difficult to use well because it tries to express profound feelings in a simple rustic form, but when done well it is very moving and you have used the form beautifully here.

    May I suggest a couple of tiny changes in English usage (not your first language I believe)? I would say “and take your soul” (rather than took) and also “to endorse” (rather than “in”). Not important – trivial points really – and I hope you don’t mind.

    • Hi John, I am glad you mentioned it. It shoud be “(did) take” instead of “took” I can see it, and on the other matter: I just trust your English better than mine šŸ™‚ Thank you very much for helping out, I will change it.

  5. Little Liu said:

    Wow, this seems like a difficult process! You did it well.

  6. Thanks Liu!

  7. Kevin said:

    Very nice! I love it!

    Please read my villanelle poem, too: http://kfs25.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/rebooting-this-blog/

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