Haiku or Naisaiku or Senryu

~{}~

 

nights without loving

cold shivering are my dreams

waiting for your hands

WAKING UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE

loving hands waiting

nights shivering without cold

for my dreams are you

 

~{}~

 

This poem needs a bit of explaining perhaps: I wrote it as I found out about a new form of poetry and I wanted to do one too.

NaiSaiKu usually has the same lines in the first and second haiku but in reversed order.ย  This experimental form I saw at leo’s is about mixing all the words.

I used all the words of the first haiku in the second and devided the 2 haiku’s by a sentence of 7 syllables. Read more about this on Leonnyes site (see link at the bottom here) Leo is really cleverย  ๐Ÿ™‚

on this site

Comments on: "Haiku or Naisaiku or Senryu" (41)

  1. Whatever you call it, it’s beautiful! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Waking to love…what sweeter way to leave a nightmare behind?

  2. belfastdavid said:

    This is really clever, and the whole is enchanting.

    I have written down the instructions – I will go have a play – after I have written my Christmas cards ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hi David, I have to do some cards too! Maybe write a poem in them, is that a good idea? We could kill 2 flies in one blow. Dutch expression. ๐Ÿ™‚ Have fun writing!

  4. you are quite creative.

    apt Haikus.
    Thanks for sharing!

    A+

  5. Very enjoyable. I agree with Jingle, you are very creative.

  6. Very interesting way to make a poem, and the result was quite genuine. Enjoyed it, and of course, the form goes on my list of stuff to try someday. Thanks for sharing, and for making such a neat enjoyable short piece.

  7. You had me with..”Nights..” ..smile..

  8. Loving hands, waking from nightmare to a better reality. Very nice!

  9. interesting and titillating.
    yay! might have to try this form.

  10. I love this! A new form to play with. I have been playing with French Pantoum lately which has those rules on reusing lines. It is so sweet when it comes together! And your NaiSaiKu is beautiful.

  11. how vulnreable we are, to loving!

  12. A.B. Thomas said:

    I loved the write, an interesting form to write indeed!

  13. @all thanks very much for your comments!
    Patoum, I will look it up! David I am curious if you have written some new stuff and will hop to your blog, teresa too ๐Ÿ™‚ Well every one lol.

  14. Interesting… I liked this new thing…

    เฅ เคจเคฎเคƒ เคถเคฟเคตเคพเคฏ
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

  15. Thanks Shashi!

  16. welcome to the rally…

    awesome entry.
    have fun today!
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Beautiful singing words Ina Dear.. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Thanks for sharing this one.. Love xox

  18. I really enjoyed this poem! Lovely words. Love the new style, must try it sometime ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Nice thoughts, beautiful words
    Hereโ€™s my poetry
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/love-is/
    !! Happy Rally !!

  20. A nice short poem (I like the short ones :)). Very clever use of words.
    The Lonely Recluse.

  21. I really enjoyed learning about this form of poetry, and emjoyed your poem very much.

  22. I enjoyed the haiku…very nice indeed. Thank you for sharing.

  23. wow!!

    awesome!!! i should try it too ๐Ÿ™‚

    loved your poem ๐Ÿ˜€

  24. Hi Jingle, Olivia, deadpoet88, ashbeezone, The Lonely Recluse, L, 1MereMortal and dancingfreak! Thanks verry much for your comments!

  25. I like it…not seen this form before actually, and I rather enjoy how you used it here. Good haikus.

  26. never explain beauty. =)

  27. Hi Chris and Glory, thank you for your comments ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. lnfiniterainbow said:

    Love The Reversal

    Peacea nd Light

    Rique’

  29. lnfiniterainbow said:

    Love The Reversal

    Peacea and Light

    Rique’

  30. Beautiful. Quite a creative art form used here–and you did a great job. ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Thank you Bodhirose!

  32. Yeah whatever it is called, it is beautiful. And a brilliant experiment. Keep experimenting.
    Thank you for dropping by my blog.

  33. Beautiful. Experimenting with new structures is always fun.

  34. Beautiful poem. ๐Ÿ™‚ My favorite line is: /waiting for your hands/. You have a very graceful way of writing imagery.

  35. Thank you very much buggleweed !

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