Online Shrink doc. Fruit – the cheapest psychiatric help available! session 1


Dear Online Shrink
My husband says I am spending too much time online and it is not normal for a person to have cyber intercourse with aliens.
Do you think he has a right to speak up to me like that (I am an American citizen!)
Bertha Robust in Topeka, Kansas.

Dear Bertha
No of course he has no right to say that. Dump the loser! NEXT!

Dear dr Fruit
I have been dating a boy who constantly want to touch my private parts. It is very disturbing. Do you think it would be impolite for me to say something about the issue on our next date?
Cindy Soreass

Hallo Cindy
Yes that would be impolite. Jeez. Didn’t your mother teach you manners?? NEXT!

Doctor Fruit
Ever since my wife and I decided I could wear her dresses on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, she makes sure my fav. frocks are at the cleaners on those days. Do you think she has a hidden problem with my transsexuality? It is okay with her for the dog to crossdress daily, I might add.
John Taylor

John. Yuck. I mean, daily? Why is she turning the dog into a drag queen? NEXT!

Hallo dear doctor Fruit.
My sister is sooo jealous of me, just because I always steel her boy friends. Should I feel guilty? I include a pic of us both. I am the one in the thong and she is the one in the straight jackett. This was just after our last battle.
Judy from Houston
ps are you a hetero guy?

Hallo Judy.
sorry I am a hetero woman and I think you should be the one in the jackett. Your bum is way too big for a thong. NEXT!

Hallooo doctor Fruit
Every time I walk into a room, I have the feeling people stop talking. How can I stop thinking that way?
Rick

Hallo Rick NEXT!

Hi doc Fruit,
I sent you my pic as well. I am feeling really down, I want to kill myself!
Moody Mandy

Moody, no wonder, you are as ugly as shit. NEXT!

Dear doctor Fruit
HELP!
Lonely Heart Just About To End His Life

Dear LHJATEHL: I am busy right now. NEXT!

Doc Fruit:
Looking in the mirror I see this wonderful person, intelligent, sexy, witty and beautiful. How come nobody else does?
Samantha

Dear Samantha, how could they see anything when you are blocking the mirror with your fat ass? NEXT!

Comments on: "Online Shrink doc. Fruit – the cheapest psychiatric help available! session 1" (103)

  1. That’s pretty good…how’d you come up with all those names?

  2. They were all it the mail! Though I think ‘John’ is an alias.NEXT! :)

  3. Must go to my moms grave so later :)

  4. Hope all went well today. Here’s a silly tune I think you’d enjoy:

  5. Nice song :) It is a beautiful morning here, sunny so I think I will be away a lot today.

  6. I found this on you tube, I don’t know anything about it. But I liked it. :)

  7. Thank you, I want to see that movie :)

  8. Nice too :)

  9. Dear Doc,

    What’s up doc?

    Sincerely, AnnSecret.

  10. All danders are up :) Hi An. NEXT! lol

  11. Harry Jones said:

    Are you and thinker lovers?

  12. Amazing isn’t it lol. I heard something else had to be used when a man needed to be killed by law. In Texas I think. Why not just use gin… that is poison when taken in large quantities?

  13. Did you notice the sign? E “L” Gone…Lol! It’s a driving academy! Why not Long Gone? Gone two fast! Going, Going…Gone.

    Maybe they teach this:

  14. Maybe they should send River Cruise there for lessons. Prior to taking down her Twitter dilly, she claimed to have had two accidents. Both times she hit a PT Cruiser I think. Or, is it Cruzer? She also posted all the noble causes she was for, though she never made mention of her kind acts of bringing Cindy Anthony flowers while having an ‘affair’ with her husband?! How precious…simply precious!

    All this kindness may get a shipment of that lethal drug this guy hawks to KC’s cell. If not, then I’m sure they’ll be someone waiting to take her out another way if she’s released.

  15. The first time I read about this “spy,” it was stated that she had a microphone implanted in her teeth. That makes me think that the Iranian government has been hiring US/British intelligence officers that read old spy books. Lol!
    http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/01/08/report-iran-official-says-american-woman-detained-spying/?test=latestnews

  16. Teeth? The spy that slissed?

    I found this http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/01/08/wikileaks-says-twitter-account-details-subpoenaed-government/ so they want to read all Assange’s tweets? But tweets are already public? So what do they think they will find? something like: “Just saw awsome boobs. Not Swedish.” or: “I think we may have a leak. I will call for the plumbers.”

    • Maybe they need to see the stuff that the people that operate Twitter sees that the average person can’t see without entering their site illegally, e.g. hacking.

  17. A Democratic congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford was shot in Tucson Arizona , 12 people were shot. I will try and find more. It happend at a grocery store.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40978517/ns/politics/ CNN now says she is in surgery. She had been threathend earlier. At least 6/7 people died. A male suspect is in custody.

  18. So you were expecting this to happen? Creepy stuff.

    • The two packages that injured two mailroom workers in Maryland contained similar notes. Gov. Martin O’Malley told the Washington Post the note came from someone who didn’t “like” seeing highway signs that urge drivers to “Report Suspicious Activity”

      So that was the reason to injure people. Talking about twats. Male twats.

  19. Can’t hear them now, people talking. I am surfing the blogs and showing them how beautiful the English language is lol (we had fun at SB)

  20. I’m not into politics, but, from what I’ve seen of Palin she seems to be quite the twat, doesn’t she?

  21. She is lol.

  22. I thought this article should be shared…and, this particular spot seemed appropriate-an insight into American behavior:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-douglas-fields/rudeness-is-a-neurotoxin_b_765908.html

  23. So we must be nice to our kids. Sounds reasonable. Even hatefull words can cause damage. If you think of all the verbal violence on tv and in games, you wonder if there will be any sane children at all. Middle school is school between primary and high school?

    I commented on a blog yesterday, I got there as I just clicked on an avatar, the blogger asked questions about why we readers follow the Anthony case. So I answered. I am still in moderation, okay, first time visitor. Then this morning I saw the pic of the Nova Scotia lighthouse and a pic of a Canadian coin on the sidebar of the blog. The seagull had also commented a bit weird on SB’s blog, praising the one person from NS that we know off to be such a good person. ? Weird. http://mainstreamfair.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/just-out-of-curiosity Next time I might check where I comment lol.

  24. I think middle school is Jr. High in some places. It used to be elementary and high school. Going to high school meant you had to change classes and had several different teachers instead of just one teacher as in elementary school. It is still that way in some places. I know a woman that teaches migrant workers children. School is what takes place when the children do not have to work. In these areas, a person 14 years of age can get a drivers license if it is proven it is needed for work. They do not have much time for reality shows, video games or much else.

    I would agree with the article. Mostly because I really do not get much from the reality shows they like to promote these days. Even the news is becoming a reality show-much like the Anthony case, and moreso like the Haleigh Cummings case.

    This person is pursuing what they deem educational purposes by asking you to participate in their poll. In the same vein they would pursue observing the rantings of the protesters in front of the Anthony home. Aren’t we all enlightened now?

    What I find really nauseating is someone with a masters degree and that person is still an idiot. JMO as always (I wondered about you and your friend having fun on SB)

    Just tell ‘em:

  25. lol not sure what you mean. What friend would that be?

    • I don’t know, Ina. You said you were showing someone the English language yesterday, and also stated there was a lot of talking or something going on. I thought a friend was over at your house or something. Maybe I assumed something in error.

  26. They are developing a profile on the shooter in Az:
    He MAY be associated with the American Renaissance group (no proof offered)
    He has had run ins with the law ( busted for drug paraphernalia and paid a $20 fee-no drugs, however)
    He lives in a neighborhood known for housing Mexican drugs (okay…he lives in a middle class neighborhood in the southern most part of Arizona!)
    And, the biggest break through……..drum roll, please……….
    He may be UNSTABLE. (Duh, dudes and dudettes….he just gunned down several people-say something that makes sense!)

    • And, oh, I almost forgot….he also ran a stop sign. That hooligan!

    • Would he have been under influence of the Palin site with the targets?

      I suppose it is DP for him too, unless he was not responsible (drugged) I think the person who got him the drugs, is just as much a criminal.

      • I don’t think so, but that’s just my opinion. Palin certainly acts like an idiot; that doesn’t mean she has the power to make other idiots arise and start killing. She really isn’t all that charismatic. I think the journalist try to control politics with their rhetoric, just like the politicians try to control journalists with their rhetoric. Palin’s maps and words were out of line-though not mind altering.

        Did you see the video he made? He dressed in a garbage bag and played a tune that sang something about letting the bodies hit the floor. He called it a protest. Pfft!

        I think he either saw himself as garbage, or may have felt the Congresswoman saw humans as garbage and not the garbage as garbage. I read a little something about her wearing a used wedding dress, having only organically grown food, and maybe she had done something in that area that may have seemed as if she was pushing her views on others. Some people like that are absolutely intolerable-they are as radical as the shooter seemed to be.

        These things makes sense, but not when they are shoved down your throat.

      • Yeah, bet he gets the DP in this case. He shows signs of political rhetoric in his protest he posted on Youtube, claimed to be in the military, which was a lie, so that says something about his premeditation in this case. JMO

        We know where they’ll get the drugs for his execution, don’t we?

  27. I find this explanation as plausible as the next: http://www.examiner.com/strange-mysterious-facts-in-national/gabrielle-giffords-and-jared-loughner-notes-on-conspiracy

    Note: they mention miss hokeythangs website in the article. If he was a member, he is on his way to Auschwitz now! Lol!

    • lol yeah that forum is a really scientific source :)

      “A lot to chew on but simply speculation. Loughner may be just schizophrenic or suffer from some other kind of mental illness. A series of posts written in Loughner’s strange style (and with his strange obsession with grammar) concerning faked Space Shuttle launches has come to light at the Above Top Secret forum. Rep. Giffords’ husband Mark E. Kelley is a Space Shuttle Commander. Perhaps the attack is related to Loughner’s curious beliefs about the Shuttle.”

      lol my husband said the same thing, very disturbed disorientated young man he said. Maybe his mother called him names in his childhood?
      My guess adding to the psychobabble :) Lonely and out of the normal reality. Poor kid.

  28. I found this news clip in which the anchor reads from his youtube. He mentions something I missed when I viewed the page that piqued my interest. He said the suspect rambled on about the numbering of the years. The big bang of “hypocrite” theory. I wonder how many times she had her tires slashed prior to the shooting.

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40980103/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

    Unfortunately, his rants aren’t an isolated incident. There’s a buttload of these nutjobs out there. At least around here there is.

  29. http://www.kansascity.com/2010/03/24/1835058/two-area-congressmen-among-democrats.html threats to a congressman to get a bullit through the head if he voted in favor of the health bill.

    • I think they should make death threats illegal…for everyone! No more of this: Awwwww, I didn’t really mean it. Just trying to get a reaction.

  30. Everyone threatning should pay a fine and compensation money to the vitcim.

  31. Or take the train:

  32. I’ve been reading more about this Loughner fella. He listed “Brave New World” as one of his favorite reads. A line from Wikipedia: The novel opens in London in the “year of our Ford 632″ (AD 2540 in the Gregorian Calendar)

    Being not much of a psychoanalyst, I am of the opinion this poor boy was hit by a white Mazda, then backed over by a black suv, only to have twin black beamers wizz by for a lookilu.

    It’s not “Catcher In the Rye,” nor is it the same as watching Lennon with his philosophy, or viewing “Taxi” ad nauseumuseum, but, it does make sense.

  33. There are many questions about how this could happen. He had a gun, now how could anyone sell a gun to him, how did he get a license? Of course he did the deed, no doubt, but why did he not get some help when he obviously needed it? Shouldn’t parents, teachers etc. have done more to prevent what was going to happen? Could they have done something? Like the school shootings, there is a pattern, every one who has a kid like that, should be worried and take action I think, but parents are usually blinded with love, or, too occupied with their own lifes to care. JMO.

  34. In Arizona the gun laws are very liberal. And, he didn’t have a “real” criminal record-especially at his age-yet. Though these wussy journalists would want you to believe running a stop sign is an indicator of a mass murderer…it really isn’t.

    It sounds as if he was fairly normal in high school, but things went south after entering college. Maybe when he started drinking, which he did in high school, that started something that couldn’t be undone. They claim he also smoked pot, and who knows what else he go into. Some people can do this type of crap for years and no one thinks any thing of it. Other people are forever changed by these mind altering chemicals.

    His college instructors tried, but there was little they could do they claim. I think they could have called or at least consulted with the Tucson police dept. to see what they could do and explain his behavior. They clearly though Loughner was either a threat to himself or someone else. Many felt as if he was a threat to them based on his behavior.

    It is doubtful the parents would notice anything since they live with him. His behavior probably came about a little at a time. I can imagine they grew used to it and didn’t notice any abrupt changes. He was 22 and still living at home. They probably distanced themselves since he wasn’t a pre-teen any more.

    I read they had barricaded themselves in the house because of all the reporters and others in their neighborhood. They are afraid. It seems as if, though not reported, people expect them to take responsibility for their son’s actions. Why they do that is beyond me. They don’t take responsibility for their own actions, but expect everyone to pour their heart out when they realize that people have problems and we don’t live in a perfect world.

    I think it should be illegal for them to invade a neighborhood like that.

  35. I took an art class a few years ago, and an older man sat behind me and behaved strangely. My instructor invited me over to her house and even apologized for his behavior, which I thought nothing about. She couldn’t control who enrolls in her classes. Since he was behind me, I suppose she could see more than I could hear.

  36. What happened, did he complete the class or left before the end of the course?

  37. He completed it, as I recall. He’d just do weird things. I could hear him making strange noises, and always ripping paper. A few times I had turned around to try and help him, and showed him the type of paper that she had recommended for the class in case he didn’t read the supply list correctly. He didn’t change, and kept having problems. I think what he saw and what everyone else saw was totally different. He didn’t really bother me, but I think he really got to her and she just thought I was being extra nice by tolerating him.

    She was an older retired woman, and he was too. Maybe that is where the friction lay. I know I am more apt to get aggravated by a man my own age, or thereabouts, more than I would someone much younger or much older. Maybe it’s because we know what to expect from our generation. I find those about 10 years older to be the most frustrating…a different time period I suppose. Maybe he was doing or saying something to her while I was busy doing my thing that was so aggravating to her. I could see no amount of help would persuade him, so I just let it go. Maybe she just wanted to know if she was the only person that wanted to choke him or something. Lol!

  38. Maybe he was a bit autistic :)

    So are you still doing art?

    • No, I just took that one class. She had many talented students, of which I wasn’t one, but she thought I was and was kind.

      Looking back, I think he may have taken the class to have something to do. Maybe he heard about her through another male his age, and she was a widow. Knowing what I know about some of these old men, maybe she wanted to feel me out to see if there was anything to worry about. Or, since she had daughters, she felt compelled to apologize for his behavior though she wasn’t directly responsible (If she had had sons her attitude may have been: deal with it and fix him…Lol!)

      She had said it actually cost her more to teach than she actually made from her pay. I think she did it to spread her love of art with others and since she was retired, it gave her something to do. Love of art isn’t really a big thing here as many associate it with homosexuals and weirdos.

      I know another woman her got her degree in art and started teaching right out of college at a Christian school. She didn’t last long she said (You’d have to know the type of Christian males in the area to know what she meant without going into a lengthy description).

      No, that guy was just being a boil on someone’s azz because it is socially acceptable.

  39. lol Maybe he liked the company?

    I like drawing very much, I once did a nice portrait of my husband, but it probably got lost in a moval. If I retire I want to take up lessons maybe.

    • Yeah, there isn’t that much for Sr. citizens to do in some areas, so he took a class I suppose. Most go to the casinos or church, I suspect, if they don’t have family in the area.

      My mother visited the Sr. citizen center in my area and came back complaining they wanted her to scrub pots and pans after she went in and inquired about doing some volunteer work. I thought she may have been a little over emotional and read too much into it at the time. The last time she was here, I went with her. She didn’t lie. Lol! There are two choices: teach or work in the kitchen. She really just wanted to call Bingo. Lol! Not here ya don’t! It’s work, or work……lest thee be tempted.

      • Singing, is that a good idea? There are choirs for the elderly? lol are we now looking for something to do after our working days are over…

        • No, I just went with her to help her feel more comfortable. After going, I could understand why she felt uncomfortable, but there wasn’t any thing I could do about it. After the woman asked a series of questions, I felt as though I was dropping her off for her first day of kindergarten. She asked if I could come (I think she wanted me to attend the first day) and the woman answered in such a way that it made her uncomfortable. She immediately asked if I was 55.

          When we left, she said, “Boy, they aren’t very nice like they are at my Sr. center!” (Often, they bring family members to lunches and such and introduce them to their friends…I went with her at her center-more than I cared to, to be honest).

          There’s two ways to do things: the right way, and, the wrong way. My attendance to break the ice would have been the wrong way apparently.

  40. I sing Danny Boy quite nicely in the shower?

  41. Together now! :)

  42. Yes, I tried very hard to keep up with Bingo on her turf, but fell behind miserably. Lol! They are pros.

    We did a lot of stuff this last time. I guess because my aunt didn’t come around. It seems as if life has to stop to fit her schedule, which makes me miserable being around her. It would be different if she had been some powerful executive or something, but, she really has a thing about her schedule. By the time she’s finished reading it off, I’m exhausted. Lol! I just try to be flexible, but, ….I guess it’s a cultural thing.

  43. lol I know some one with a mother as energetic as that, exhausthing!

    Well it is my bedtime, so see you later :)

  44. FYI: Ms. Hokeythangs website is attracting attention from the Tucson shootings. They have the answer to everything-that bunch does-including, and this will get ya………how to kill an alien zombie. Yep, you heard correctly.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/11/AR2011011103558.html

    Oddly enough, some of their commenters think other commenters may be suffering some type of mental illness.

    I read he had to pay a $500 fine for defacing stop signs with “C” and “X.” An anti-Christian protest I guess.

  45. Below is a link to some of Loughner’s poetry (If you’re interested). A student handed them over to CNN (makes me wonder what right the student has to do so). Anywhoo, that rare bird he describes in his youtube video may be a dodo (I thought maybe a Phoenix, though I don’t know what one looks like).
    http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/11/accused-shooters-poems-evoke-his-daily-routine-scenes-from-mauritius/

    Maybe this is where the ‘shhh…rooms are from? I saw a video of a friends father describing Loughner as grinning like the Cheshire cat in “Alice in Wonderland.” Hmmmmmmmmm


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HmJQyS8QVw

  46. Check out the new undercover police vehicles:
    http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/us/2011/01/12/vo.loughner.family.departure.cnn

    Can you see the resemblance:

  47. I hope Loughner’s parents make the cowards work hard for their limpdick party. If at first they don’t succeed, they’ll try, try again. They are very beatable. They never like playing chicken; they don’t want to die either.

  48. Clever going …. :-D I’ll have to come back and continue to explore ….

  49. Glad you like it Jamie! :)

  50. ha ha ha loved it lol

  51. Thei scam fell flat on it’s smiley face in New Hampshire. Lol! How poetic!

  52. Ina, do you ever read your husband’s blog? I did-once. That’s why I chose to communicate with you. Not because you were a brilliant writer at the time.

    You were hacked around the time Kreuzer was in Amsterdam. If you were reading his blog at the time you may have thought he was involved.

    Two death threats I’ve received have come in the form of a poem.

    FYI

  53. I was hacked? I don’t think so? My husbands blogs are all in Dutch, I hope you could understand his writing :) I read kreuzers adventures on facebook, just went to his blog now to see his other pics. Liked them :)

    I don’t know who sent those death treats, I think you should take them to the police.

  54. Just sayin’

    I see what they do here.

    His blog was about smuggling weapons in automobiles. I gathered enough without knowing the language. Besides, they have places that will translate it.

    I didn’t say you were hacked.

    I have called the police. They said it was a civil case. I know the rackets they run around here, so paying someone $500 an hour would be a moot point. Been there-done it.They want to get to the end of the conspiracy theory, reel in a large class action lawsuit, or simply rule the world or play mafia. It never ends.

    We have several military bases and it is the state’s largest source of income. They provide little to nothing for the civilian.

    They are teaching the same thing at Roswell.

    If you are into the enigma, then you stumbled upon it getting on MD’s blog. That’s where it is. The missing.

    Remember the link I gave you where they put a code on a dead black guy and the FBI wanted whomever that broke that code to call the organized crime unit. What a joke.
    The same with Hokey and all that alien crap. It’s that stuff 24/7 when you’re around them.

    They come behind people and try to make you think it’s someone else. Just like on the blogs.

  55. ??? I give up, I don’t understand one bit of it.

  56. They were pulling this stuff prior to 9/11 and never managed to stop pulling it. It’s as if they think they’ll get better at it.

    A friend and I went to Texas in 2000. We met two men. One was a guy from either Lebanon or Libya-I forget which, and the other was from that state. The foreigner had been imprisoned for being a spy in his country. I could see why after he started tailing us around and showed up at a convention we were supposed to go to, but I didn’t want to after he had started his crap.

    She, being the wife of a Baptist minister, did her duty and had an affair with the other guy who sells insurance to auto dealers. I knew we were in trouble then and there.

    I can remember most all of the ones that have hidden behind me.

    It’s easy to become one when you see how it works.

    That’s the same reason I chose my cousin to return to that state. Being a fed, a biker, and a drunk, I knew I could pull out some dumbazzes off the military base. I did. About 1000 miles away. My mother saw them. I don’t think it was a coincidence that the truck she saw came from a small town my cousin once lived in and was known for Indian ruins.

    They had started coming behind her. That’s where you can sort out the conspiracy theorists from the plain, old, everyday ‘good ole boy’ extortion rings.

    That’s why they are so adamant on background checks-though they rarely get it right.

    Psychobabble bullchit.

  57. The code talkers got to the little girl in New Hamshire, Ina. Your blog is the only one I wouldn’t get booted off from.

    Just watch in the future and see if you can see what I mean.

    Toxicology hasn’t been released. I’m betting it has something to do with dentistry, or it’ll make a dog flop about wildly.

  58. Very funny! Thanks for making me laugh!

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