This light is such that I don’t want to go,
and leave these trees whose whispers make me hear
the ancient stories that they seem to know
as over land a mist is spread from sea.

This mist is such that I don’t want to leave,
I wait to hear the soft drops fall on soil,
like tears they do, in unseen fading grief
that can’t be spoken of in other ways.

But comes the night, I need to find my road,
go back to where I never knew this rest,
to shelter there, what must be my abode
until the day emerges from its sleep.

I shall return and dwell to be at ease
where light and mist make home for thought and peace.

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Comments on: "This light is such that I don’t want to go" (14)

  1. these trees whose whispers make me hear
    the ancient stories

    I have felt this. There just may be some efficacy to the old pagan religions of the European forests.

    • Hi Carl, the wind in the treetops makes an ancient sound that must have meant something to people living then. And dogs can’t all be wrong about trees? ;)

  2. I think you can now call yourself a sonneteer. :)

    Arohanui
    David
    xxx

    • Hi David

      Next time I talk to myself, I shall try and see if it works :) Thank you for saying so!

      Arohanui :)
      Ina
      xxx

  3. Francina said:

    great sonnet, Ina :-) groetjes, Francina

  4. You are becoming a sonneteer, Ina, along with Nick Moore. This is a beyond honorable profession that makes lots of demands on the poet who aspires to become a sonneteer, so you should be warned. But this is approaching the state of poetry that only a few achieve in their lifetime.
    There are several craft notes that should be made about this Shakespearean sonnet. First, there is nowhere to be found a straining after meter. The syntax sounds normal, not strained. Second, the first line of the first three stanzas build toward the couplet by using similar word order and meaning, but meaning different things. Third, the couplet rounds the sonnet out, referring back to the original stanza. Fourth, the logic of sonnets differs, of course, depending on the skill of the sonneteer, but you use here a workable pattern, each four line stanza representing a full thought within the constraints of the meter and rhyme until the couplet summarizes what the three stanzas have set up.
    Nick, of course, is the master. He can tell you more about writing sonnets than I can, although I have written most of the forms written by English poets. But you are developing a strong skill, Ina. You should be happy with yourself.

    • HI Thomas
      thank you very much for this wonderful comment, that helps me a lot to learn more about this poetry form!

  5. Hello Ina. Thomas is right: this sonnet is beautifully crafted and the language sounds very natural.

  6. Lovely prose throughtout. “Where light and mist make home for thought and peace.”

  7. Others have commented on the form … for me it is the ancient soul in the piece … a haunting lyric … not for the first time your writing reminding me of the Brontes’.

    • Hi Diane, thank you very much! I haven’t read any poems of the Brontë’s but I will look it up, thank you ! :)

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