These fears keep us going in spite
To lean back now means to give in
We won’t give in for now in spite of all
And we won’t do the looking back in spite.
Against the odds you got it.
(you hadn’t smoked in decades,
you hadn’t drunk in years,
you did eat healthy stuff.)
We watch the curtains wave, we wait
For daylight entering the room.
Nocturnal clouds move over
Like every ending of each night.
My husband’s blog
This is a blog I don’t want to write. But since I started sharing my story, I don’t feel I should quit now. When I wrote my last blog posting, my “personal story”, I had a good message. The doctor who examined my petscan of a part of my organs told me he did not see any spreading of the cancer (just something suspicious ) . So I was more optimistic about the continuation of my treatment. Unfortunately today I was told that further examination showed a totally different picture. The tumor is too big and too far spread for surgery. I shall not make this a medical – technical story, but that was the essence of the message.
Of course we are going for a second opinion, but with the explanation this doctor gave, I don’t expect the outcome to be something very different. So we shall now go into the direction of chemo therapy, to slow the process down as much as possible, and to stay up and about as long as possible. Well, and what sensible thing is there left to say about this? I just don’t know now. Going for the here and now, and staying active as long as possible, living life by day or by hour. That is as far as I get for now. It was storming today, and not only at sea and on the shore. That is all for now.
Perhaps I shall write more here, for now we will recover from the blow, and then see if “living life” is an option we can live with.
looking at this jar
from every possible angle
wanting the inside out
and holding it upside down
how the lid is locked
how to open it:
that’s me and life
After the image of a jar I saw on facebook :)
Two women, eighty, talking in the street
Their words singing in their northern vowels
Their gossip going up and down, dancing
From mouth to mouth, and back, from eyes to eyes.
They’re in a rain of golden Autumn leaves,
They never noticed time who walks with them
As not that long ago they were two girls
Skipping ropes, laughing in the golden light.
There was a little boy
In the hospital corridor
Where people around him
And he was doing a pirouette
And this was the cancer ward
And here people were dying
There was a little boy
A mile away
A time away
And for a moment
All were dancing with him
A day away
A needle away
All became memories
That no one ever saw
Gone for a bit, as there are examinations for my husband. We will be on the mainland in hospital or at home. <3
the only way to walk this road
is doing so together
to find the strength
of waves colliding
the only way
to go this road this time
is about now
and I shall join you all the way